Welcome to the Concert:

Below are answers to a few of the most commonly asked questions. If, after reading this, some questions remain unanswered, please go see the Lighting designer, he will be happy to answer any further questions.

How many watts are ya'll pushin'?

Without going into a long explanation of speaker enclosure design and a lot of tedious geometrical equations, let me say
that this is a meaningless question. Bottom line: we have enough watts to damage your hearing, make your bowels quake and cause your spleen to wish it had stayed home.

Is there a party after the show?

Unfortunately, as soon as the show is over, we've got to get on our private jet and travel to Hawaii to spend our day off
playing golf with Sting or Sinatra or someone!

Gosh, touring with a band must be really swell...girls, parties, money!

Quite frankly, touring with a band is the single most enjoyable, fulfilling and sought after job known to mankind, as confirmed
by a resent Gallop poll of doctors, priests, social workers, teachers, police and gas station attendants. Why, even Bishop
Desmond Tutu has been quoted as saying that if he could do it all over again, he'd forget about the struggle in South Africa
and go on tour with Ozzy.

There are so many knobs , meters, lights and stuff! How do know which ones do what?

I don't!

Where do you live?

Upon being hired by my first band, I was immediately given a large home with a swimming pool near the beach, next door to
Linda Ronstadt in Malibu, California, where everyone in show biz lives.

Have you ever worked for my favorite band?

Yes, I probably have worked for or have had several beers with that band at some point during my long , star-studded career as a Sound Guy. As for the issue of what they are like... By nature, all musicians are dishonest, irresponsible and unable to
complete even a simple task without the benefit of both large quantities of illicit and mysterious chemical substances and the
help of several overpaid and equally dishonest road managers. They can't help it; musicians are kind of like circus elephants-they put on a great show , but you wouldn't want to discuss Ayn Rand over a dry martini with one!